When there's no escape in your reality, you go silent, and it is in that silence that you find your weapons to fight your way back to that place where you were safe.
Eyes shut. Music on. Show me my defense.
I'm in a cave. I see dim blue light reflecting off the smooth stone surfaces, and I walk towards it. The ground feels gentle beneath my feet, like the stone is pliable, accepting of my weight. I can hear the murmuring of voices behind me, and they're getting louder, bubbling into each other and overlapping. I can't understand them but they sound angry, and I don't want to know what they're saying, so I walk faster, towards the blue flickering light.
I find the source. It's a lantern with blue glass. I pick it up, and I can feel the glaring warmth against my torso as I hold it up to find my way. The voices are getting ever nearer, and I'll be honest, I'm getting nervous. I need to get out of this cave, with its reflective gentle walls and neverending pathway.
Things around me begin to descend slowly into chaos. I can feel it, and as I stare at the walls, they begin to flow like water, shining like mercury as they melt downwards, filling the floors with a
luminescent shine. I can't let it touch me, so I start running, my bare feet slapping against the smooth rock. I can't see anything beyond what is reflected by my lantern, so I don't know where I'm going. Someone get me out!!
But no... I'm alone, right? This is how I'm supposed to be, right? This is what I want, right? Right?
I keep running, and I can feel the floor around me moistening with the reflective glint of the walls as it turns to a torrent behind me. I splash forward, and I know if it catches me I'll drown, drown in the voices and the shouting and the emotions and the turmoil. I don't want to be alone with that. I don't want to drown like that, suffocated in my own wretched filthy mind. I run faster, and I find myself suddenly face to face with the wall, and as I turn I can feel the rumbling as it bears down on me. I shut my eyes, knowing I can't stop it, and I accept it. Suddenly everything slows, and I hear a calm pause in the music. My eyes open, and I'm face to face with myself, only I'm dripping, made of the same mercury-like material as the walls. I don't say anything, and I don't do anything, just stare. I tilt my head, my reflection tilts hers. I blink, and so does she. That's when I pause, staring at myself in dread before slowly looking down at my hands, dripping in the mercury as I start to shake, horrified at myself. I back up, and as soon as my back touches the wall, hands of the same material grasp at my arms, turning me in. What can I do but scream? I feel my breath stolen from me, and my lungs begin to pound in pain....
I'm awake.
Beautiful Reader, what is a mistake? I think I just found mine.
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